xj0318

我这人绝对是个英语白痴，不知道有没有健迷朋友懂英语的，能不能帮帮忙看看下面这篇应用文怎么写，谢谢大家了！

学生会将组织一次参加宏伟金箔集团公司（Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation）的活动，时间定于7月20日，请于7月15日写一则通知：
1、集合和出发的时间与地点：上午6：30在校门口集合，6：40准时出发
2、活动安排：8：00在礼堂听总经理介绍工厂的概况的报告；9：00参观生产的流水 线；11：00参观工会俱乐部，看产品展览；12：00在公司食堂用餐；13：00返回。

以上是作文要求，对于学英语专业的朋友可能只是小菜一碟吧，但是对于我这用英语白痴简直是太难了！谢谢大家帮帮忙！

逆风飞扬

嘿嘿  这个真小菜   还是转移到这里 让TEM8们帮你完成它！CET4就不嚣张了！：）

taozy

学生会将组织一次参加宏伟金箔集团公司（ ）的活动，时间定于7月20日，请于7月15日写一则通知：集合和出发的时间与地点：上午6：30在校门口集合，6：40准时出发
2、活动安排：8：00在礼堂听总经理介绍工厂的概况的报告；9：00参观生产的流水 线；11：00参观工会俱乐部，看产品展览；12：00在公司食堂用餐；13：00返回。notice
the students' union decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth July. we will meet at the skool gate 6:30 am. and start at exactly 6:40. we will listen to the report about the Corporation in the meeting room at 8:00,and visit the nanufacture at nine,and visit the cub at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition.Then we'll have our lunch at the canteen of companny at 12:00.We will come back at13:00.
that's all , thank you for attention.
the studets'union
15th,July

taozy

notice
the students' union decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth July. we will meet at the skool gate 6:30 am. and start at exactly 6:40. we will listen to the report about the Corporation in the meeting room at 8:00,and visit the nanufacture at nine,and visit the cub at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition.Then we'll have our lunch at the canteen of companny at 12:00.We will come back at13:00.
that's all , thank you for attention.
the studets'union
15th,July

taozy

写的不怎么样啊
有几个词用的不准确
你在改改

xj0318

谢谢楼上的朋友！真是厉害！
谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢谢！

xj0318

我大致上把taozy这位朋友写得改了一下，不知道对不对！

Notify
The student association decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth May. The agenda is as follows:
First , we will meet at the school gate at 6:30 am. and set out on time at 6:40.
Second, we will listen to the report about the Factory general situation in the hall at 8:00;
and visit the flowing water line at nine;
and visit the labor union club at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition;
Then we'll have our lunch at the dining room of company at 12:00.
Finally We will come back at 1：00 P.M.
Thank you for attention.

Student association
15th,May

xj0318

哎呀！烦呀！是谁研究和发明了英语！真是烦！

sacoolraki

引用(xj0318 @ 2005-06-22 18:10:29)

我大致上把taozy这位朋友写得改了一下，不知道对不对！

Notify
The  student association  decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth May. The agenda is as follows:
First ,  we will meet at the  school gate at 6:30 am. and set out on time at 6:40.
Second, we will listen to the report about the Factory general situation in the hall at 8:00;
and visit the flowing water line at nine;
and visit the labor union club at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition;
Then we'll have our lunch at the dining room of company at 12:00.
Finally We will come back at 1：00 P.M.
Thank you for attention.

Student association
15th,May
[right][snapback]305447[/snapback][/right]

月份两处都错了。另外别全用and，用几个then，也不要都用we will，调换几处语序吧。看着有点生硬。

摆渡苹果

引用(sacoolraki @ 2005-06-23 11:50:23)

引用(xj0318 @ 2005-06-22 18:10:29)

我大致上把taozy这位朋友写得改了一下，不知道对不对！

Notify
The  student association  decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth May. The agenda is as follows:
First ,  we will meet at the  school gate at 6:30 am. and set out on time at 6:40.
Second, we will listen to the report about the Factory general situation in the hall at 8:00;
and visit the flowing water line at nine;
and visit the labor union club at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition;
Then we'll have our lunch at the dining room of company at 12:00.
Finally We will come back at 1：00 P.M.
Thank you for attention.

Student association
15th,May
[right][snapback]305447[/snapback][/right]

月份两处都错了。另外别全用and，用几个then，也不要都用we will，调换几处语序吧。看着有点生硬。
[right][snapback]305802[/snapback][/right]

你怎么哪里都串啊。。。
这么经典，不愧老大
南瓜呢，出来比比！~

sacoolraki

引用(摆渡苹果 @ 2005-06-23 13:21:33)

引用(sacoolraki @ 2005-06-23 11:50:23)

引用(xj0318 @ 2005-06-22 18:10:29)

我大致上把taozy这位朋友写得改了一下，不知道对不对！

Notify
The  student association  decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth May. The agenda is as follows:
First ,  we will meet at the  school gate at 6:30 am. and set out on time at 6:40.
Second, we will listen to the report about the Factory general situation in the hall at 8:00;
and visit the flowing water line at nine;
and visit the labor union club at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition;
Then we'll have our lunch at the dining room of company at 12:00.
Finally We will come back at 1：00 P.M.
Thank you for attention.

Student association
15th,May
[right][snapback]305447[/snapback][/right]

月份两处都错了。另外别全用and，用几个then，也不要都用we will，调换几处语序吧。看着有点生硬。
[right][snapback]305802[/snapback][/right]

你怎么哪里都串啊。。。
这么经典，不愧老大
南瓜呢，出来比比！~
[right][snapback]305869[/snapback][/right]

就是到处溜达。。。其实我英语很一般的，之茵好像倒还不错。

taozy

改的也不错，谢谢各位的attention
不过，我想说一点
首先，工厂的餐厅，学校的餐厅，是有它的英语形式，canteen,我没有写错，很地道的英语表达。
其次，生产流水线的翻译为production line 要地道一些
另外，请教一下，为什么notice改为notify

taozy

题目要求不是7月吗？我审题很认真啊

摆渡苹果

引用(sacoolraki @ 2005-06-23 21:19:58)

引用(摆渡苹果 @ 2005-06-23 13:21:33)

引用(sacoolraki @ 2005-06-23 11:50:23)

引用(xj0318 @ 2005-06-22 18:10:29)

我大致上把taozy这位朋友写得改了一下，不知道对不对！

Notify
The  student association  decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth May. The agenda is as follows:
First ,  we will meet at the  school gate at 6:30 am. and set out on time at 6:40.
Second, we will listen to the report about the Factory general situation in the hall at 8:00;
and visit the flowing water line at nine;
and visit the labor union club at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition;
Then we'll have our lunch at the dining room of company at 12:00.
Finally We will come back at 1：00 P.M.
Thank you for attention.

Student association
15th,May
[right][snapback]305447[/snapback][/right]

月份两处都错了。另外别全用and，用几个then，也不要都用we will，调换几处语序吧。看着有点生硬。
[right][snapback]305802[/snapback][/right]

你怎么哪里都串啊。。。
这么经典，不愧老大
南瓜呢，出来比比！~
[right][snapback]305869[/snapback][/right]

就是到处溜达。。。其实我英语很一般的，之茵好像倒还不错。
[right][snapback]306110[/snapback][/right]

谦虚！
这年头也没几个男生会谦虚的了
呵呵，楼主原谅我
我这实在是．．．呵呵，路过，看着他的名字近来的

xj0318

这个大家都比我内行，谢谢taozy，我学到了不少只是呢？
对对，月份是我弄错了，不好意思！