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加急:请英语高手帮帮忙!

引用(sacoolraki @ 2005-06-23 11:50:23)
引用(xj0318 @ 2005-06-22 18:10:29)
我大致上把taozy这位朋友写得改了一下,不知道对不对!

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The  student association  decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth May. The agenda is as follows:
First ,  we will meet at the  school gate at 6:30 am. and set out on time at 6:40.
Second, we will listen to the report about the Factory general situation in the hall at 8:00;
and visit the flowing water line at nine;
and visit the labor union club at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition;
Then we'll have our lunch at the dining room of company at 12:00.
Finally We will come back at 1:00 P.M.
Thank you for attention.

Student association
15th,May
[right][snapback]305447[/snapback][/right]


月份两处都错了。另外别全用and,用几个then,也不要都用we will,调换几处语序吧。看着有点生硬。
[right][snapback]305802[/snapback][/right]



你怎么哪里都串啊。。。 ph34r.gif
这么经典,不愧老大
南瓜呢,出来比比!~

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引用(sacoolraki @ 2005-06-23 21:19:58)
引用(摆渡苹果 @ 2005-06-23 13:21:33)
引用(sacoolraki @ 2005-06-23 11:50:23)
引用(xj0318 @ 2005-06-22 18:10:29)
我大致上把taozy这位朋友写得改了一下,不知道对不对!

Notify
The  student association  decide to visit Hong Wei Gold Foil Corporation on 2oth May. The agenda is as follows:
First ,  we will meet at the  school gate at 6:30 am. and set out on time at 6:40.
Second, we will listen to the report about the Factory general situation in the hall at 8:00;
and visit the flowing water line at nine;
and visit the labor union club at 11:00,where we will have a look at the manufactures exhibition;
Then we'll have our lunch at the dining room of company at 12:00.
Finally We will come back at 1:00 P.M.
Thank you for attention.

Student association
15th,May
[right][snapback]305447[/snapback][/right]


月份两处都错了。另外别全用and,用几个then,也不要都用we will,调换几处语序吧。看着有点生硬。
[right][snapback]305802[/snapback][/right]



你怎么哪里都串啊。。。 ph34r.gif
这么经典,不愧老大
南瓜呢,出来比比!~
[right][snapback]305869[/snapback][/right]


就是到处溜达。。。其实我英语很一般的,之茵好像倒还不错。
[right][snapback]306110[/snapback][/right]



谦虚!
这年头也没几个男生会谦虚的了 suslook.gif
呵呵,楼主原谅我
我这实在是...呵呵,路过,看着他的名字近来的 sweat.gif

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